Hold on to Big Brother
by Eriks-lil-rocker
Summary: A deathly accident and some hateful words. Miley can't deal with their separation, she can't move on, she hears Jackson's voice Then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through. Miley relives her and Jackson's special bond.
1. The Day they lost each other

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice _Then just hold on to big brother and i'll pull you through. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. so if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

"I hate you Jackson!" Miley screamed from the stairs. His face cringed in pain as she glared hotly at him. "I hate you! I wish you were never my brother!" She shouted as she gripped the stairway as he approached her.

"Miles. . ." His voice filled with pain. "I only did it . .. " Her clenched fists pounded into his chest repeatedly as he tried to control her. "It was for your own good."

"Get out of my life you pesky little rodent. I never want to speak to you again!" Her eyes glared directly into his pain filled eyes. His chest began hurting not because of her pounding fists but of her words. He had loved her so much and he had only done it to protect her, even though she couldn't see it. "I fucking hate you and wish you would get out of my life Jackson Stewart! I loathe you more then anybody in this world! I wish you were dead instead of mother!"

"Alright Miles." Robbie shouted as he entered the home. "That's enough young lady." He quickly set foot between them and looked her in the eyes. "You are grounded on your own account. This isn't Jackson's fault. You are not allowed to see Devon this weekend and that's that." He said grasping her arm tightly and pulling her upstairs.

"Hate you! Hate you! Hate you! Why don't you just get out of my life already!" She snapped once more at Jackson before slamming the door shut on her father. Jackson slammed his door shut and fell to his bed.

"Jackson she'll get over it." Robbie said as he knocked on the door. "She didn't mean them." Jackson's only response was turning up the radio full blast. Maybe that would flush out the cruel hateful words that he had just received. He couldn't erase them or heal the pain they caused him but at least he could pretend not to hear her livid voice in his head anymore. He sat in his room working on her project. In a month it would be his birthday. As accustomed he always gave Miley something so she wouldn't feel left out. He watched the videos as he edited them. If she only knew how much he loved her. Soon he was watching it while lying on his bed. Miley's words still rung loudly in his head. He turned it off and turned up the music once more and did something he hadn't done since his mother had left him alone, he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Miley cried .. .and cried. She hated herself, she hated being mad at him. Jackson had betrayed her in the worst way. She loathed him. She wanted him out of her life. The words repeated in her mind. His pain filled eyes came back at her. She was in a heated moment. She hadn't meant any of it. Not anymore at least. Now she was filled with guilt and sadness. She opened the door to his room and walked in. Miley sniffled as she laid beside him. She had done it many a times when they were little. When she was scared, sad, happy or whenever she just felt the need to be close to him. It was nothing but innocent love for her big brother. Right now she needed to know that he still loved her. She pushed her body close to his and felt the wet pillow. "I'm so sorry Jackson." She whispered in his ear. " I didn't mean it at all." She kissed his cheek and fell asleep beside him. Had she been little she would wake up earlier then him and jump on his bed to wake him, but the last time she had done so Jackson responded. _"Miles we can't be doing this anymore. I'm a man now." He was only turning ten she had thought and rolled her eyes. "Men don't sleep with their annoying little sisters. Not anymore. I'm a man now and things have changed Miles." _The words had stung her most likely how her words this afternoon had stung him but his pain was deeper. She once again began to cry herself to sleep. She didn't deserve to live. "I can't take this Jackson."

"Just hold on to big brother and I won't let go Miles." His soft whisper came as his hand grasped hers and they fell asleep.

* * *

"I'm heading out Miles." Jackson screamed as Robbie cringed at his shouting son who came down the stairs. They never could get along those two. "If your not there I'm leaving you!"

"DAD!" She whined. Obviously last night's fight still ranged high in their spirits, even though he had spotted Miley sleeping in her brothers room this morning. "Make him wait! Jackson your an inconsiderate doofus!"

"You take so damn long Miles!" Jackson flared as he grabbed his jacket.

"Watch the language boy." Jackson had been in an strange mood since he got up. A feeling of sickness, nostalgia, pain, hurt, relief had come over him. He was anxious to get the day going. To drive little miss Montana to wherever she needed to be. He needed to get to the waves, to the water. That was the only thing that soothed him. Then he would be on his way to Texas. It was a month of soccer camp, he had actually survived picking up his grades enough to go. It would only be a few months away from home. His first time away from his family, friends. He'd of course spend his birthday alone for the first time.

"I'm out." Jackson responded as he grabbed the door handle, when he had been hit yet by another emotion he could not explain. He looked at his father long and hard and walked over to him. "I love you dad." He said and embracing him in a hug. "Thanks for all you've done."

Robbie had been shocked at his son's sudden show of emotions and felt something strange inside him. He hugged the boy and ruffled his hair and looked him over. Jackson's face was still filled with pain and exhaustion. He knew neither of his children had slept well that night. "Boy you sound like your heading off to your death." He shivered at the thought. "You just drop Miles off and off you go to Texas. I'll see you when you get home." He hugged the young man once again. "Take care of yourself and don't forget to call once in awhile. You know Miles will want to hear from you."

"Sure after last night . . ." His voice trailed off as Miles had finally made it down the stairs. "Finally." Jackson retorted.

"Drop dead Jackson." She snapped as she slipped her jacket on and they bickered all the way to the car.

* * *

They continued their banter loudly in the car. Over the radio, over the ac, over anything they could find to scream at each other over. Truly Miley was still a bit heated about last night and they both needed to vent out their frustrations at each other. Jackson needed to wash this strange feeling overcoming him and this was the only way he had discovered, till he got to the water, to ignore it. They hadn't noticed the swaying car till it was too late. Jackson swerved the car as so the impact would be mostly on his side. His hand came to his seat belt as she screamed in his ear. It had all happened so quickly. She could only feel his body hovering over her own. Jackson had fell silent as she started to tremble. The car had made an awful sound as they had collided.

Miley couldn't remember how they had gotten out much less how they had gotten to the hospital. Oliver was currently holding her in his arms soothing her as her father and the doctors whispered hurriedly in the office. Her nosy part wanted to know what was going on so they opened the door just a little.

"He . . .he did himself in. If he had stayed buckled he'd be in better shape possibly." Mr. Stewart only ran his hand through his hair.

"He didn't care about himself obviously he wanted to protect her." The other doctor replied. "He didn't want her hurt. Is she a loved one?"

"His little sister. Jackson would give his life for her to be alright." Mr. Stewart replied as his body began to tremble. The news wasn't good. it seemed Jackson may not survive the night. He had already seen his eldest boy and he didn't look in good shape.

"He's in critical condition. The next few hours are crucial for him. We've done all we could. He's stabling a bit enough for a visitor."

"I don't suspect he will pull through the night. Not in his condition. Not with all those cuts and burns."

"Even if he did we don't exactly know in what conditions. He may not be able to walk at all."

Miley gasped as she fell forward. They all looked at her as Robbie wiped at his eyes. "He's going to pull through ain't he dad! He'll be alright!" Her eyes filled with tears.

"You best go see him Miles. He needs you." Was all he could say.

* * *

She entered the dark room, the first thing that came to her ears was the monitor. Beeping slowly and long pauses between each one but at least he was still alive. Miles cringed a bit looking at the physical state but it washed away quickly. She sat beside him on the bed and looked at him. "Jackson wake up." She pleaded as she grabbed his hand. "Thank you." She cried as she threw herself beside him. "Jackson I'm sorry. I didn't mean all those things I said. I wish I could take them back." She cried some more as she kissed his cheeks. "If I had known. . . I wouldn't of . . .I would have told you I love you." Miley's hand trembled as she wiped at her wet eyes. "You can't leave me. Not like mom. I still need you."

Jackson made no movement, not at all. Though he could hear her. Feel her trembling body next to his own. Jackson was in a state of in between. Jackson dreamt of his mother. Holding her once again, wrapping his arms tightly around her neck, and this time he would never let go. Jackson could smell her even. The smell of strawberries and laundry soap. Jackson dreamt of what life had been, what it was, what it could have been. Jackson slept peacefully as she cried herself into a fetal position beside him. She had wrapped his arm around her and cuddled into his chest. "I'm so sorry Jackson. I didn't mean those words. Please forgive me?" She whimpered as she puhed tighter into his chest.

It had caused a stir in him, as her touch caused a bit of pain but he soon relaxed and his hand had gripped hers if only for a moment. "I'll always forgive you Miles." He whispered so low she thought she had dreamt it. "Now to sleep with you little one." He began to hum a familiar tune in her ear and she fell asleep. "Mother looks so beautiful." Jackson had muttered before they both drifted off to sleep and all was silent. Miley's head rested on his chest and she could no longer feel or hear his heart beat even in her sleep she could tell the moment that it had stopped. The room was deadly silent as she cried on his motionless chest holding on to his neck and never letting go. He had gone on. . .she knew but she would never let him go.


	2. The day he lost her

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice _then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

The two year old giggled as he pulled out his clothes. He had to look especially nice today. "What are you doing little one?" His favorite Aunt asked as she ran her hand through his wet blonde hair.

"I'm getting my shirt and my pants." He pulled out his most favorite outfit and showed it to her for inspection. "Baby comes home today." His eyes shone brightly as she approved of the apparel. "I've got to look nice."

"I see little one."

"Auntie?" He stopped and looked at her with a contemplative face, well as contemplative as a two year olds face could be, and bit his lip in worry.

"Hmm." Auntie Bell said registering that look. He had it many times that day and she knew the question that was to come.

"What if I'm a bad big brother? What if she hates me?"

"Angel you'll be a splendid big brother and Hannah would never hate you."

"But what if. ... "

"Put your worries away sweet angel, your light will always shine and she will love you till you are both old."

His face soothed back into the peaceful and perky look and he grinned as he slipped his shirt off. "Of course he will love me. I'm going to show him how to be a football player." He grinned as he dressed on his own. "I'll show him how the boys play." She only laughed at the two year old in denial that the newborn had been a girl not the boy that he had hoped. Jackson had been anxious all day. He looked at the watch, though he was still too young to know how to read it, as if he knew they were late. He was an impatient boy and especially today since it would be the first time he'd get to see the baby. He missed his ma and pa and he wanted to hold the new baby. He jumped off the couch and walked into the kitchen then towards the rooms and then back to the living room and sat on the sofa.

"What is the matter sport?" Uncle Buck asked as he swung the restless boy in his arm and sliding him over his shoulders.

"They're late." He said pointing at his watch. "What if something happened? Momma's never late." This only received a laugh as the elder looked at the watch and the couple still had another hour to go.

"They are not late. They still have an hour to go champ." He comforted the young man. "Say why don't we go play with the animals till they come."

"Okay but I can't get dirty. I don't want to be all dirty when I hold Jake ok." The hour had passed and after another quick shower and a change into his favorite outfit he found himself back on the couch waiting for them to arrive. He sighed repeatedly as he tapped his cheeks and looked at the door. Then he heard the door slam and the familiar voices and before either of the adults could register his actions he had ran out the door to meet them.

"Hey kiddo." Robbie stated as he hugged his first born. "Did you enjoy your stay with Auntie Bell and Uncle Buck?"

"I wanna see. ... I wanna see..." Jackson cried excitedly as he saw his mother holding a bundle in a blanket in her arms.

"I missed you to champ." Robbie replied in a mock hurt tone.

"Now sit Jackson." His mother had instructed after all the greetings and the adults got to once again see the baby. "You have to be careful."

"We don't want you dropping …"

"I won't drop him . . . I'll be careful always." Jackson reassured his mother as his feet swung in anticipation. As his father fixed his arms in order to carry the small bundle of joy in his arms. Soon her mother had placed the small child in his arms and Jackson hugged it and pulled the blanket away to look at the child. He looked for her hand and immediately her hand grasped it tightly. "He's cute."

"Jackson it's a girl, I named her Hannah." Robbie said looking at his son who only shook his head.

"Miley you are beautiful." He whispered in her ear as his eyes shone with love. He kissed her on the forehead and brought the baby up to his nose. His nose cringed as his face made a disgusted look. "You smell of milk Miles." His nose then rubbed lightly against her own and she smiled and if a newborn could laugh, they all sworn she had. "My Miley." Then she spat up on his favorite shirt. Jackson cringed as he looked at his favorite shirt but he only smiled and cradled her, as if he had done such a thing a million times, and never let her go. It had been that day that Robbie Ray realized he had lost his daughter to her son. Because no matter how he had tried Miley never smiled at him the way she did that instant with Jackson.

* * *

It had been a long day and the baby had been fussy for most of it. She had rocked her in the chair, fed her twice, changed her three times and yet she would not sleep. Robbie had sung to her three times and she still did not fall asleep. Miley, as they had to name her on Jackson's insistency would just not be silent and they worried. They worried something was wrong with her. She placed her darling in the crib as the young boy ran in and out. They had to get him ready for bed, but the boy just wouldn't leave his little sister alone.

"She's not in the mood son." Robbie said picking up the toddler. "And you need your sleep."

"Just wanna hold her." He retaliated as he looked at his father. "She being noisy . . . crying . . . fussy and all."

"Go on to bed little angel." She pleaded rubbing his chin softly. She smelled of baby milk and laundry soap. So soothing and he couldn't refuse. "Off to bed my little Angel."

And he did so, that was until he knew they had left her alone and he had crept into the nursery and she was still crying and fidgeting everywhere. "Shhh Miles." Jackson ordered as he looked into the crib. "Or we both get a good pow pow." He put down the arms of the crib and picked her up like grandpa had shown him how. He moved carefully to the rocker and her hand grasped his finger tightly.

_Miles you have many miles to travel_

_But little light of mine you will shine_

_Shine far away from mine_

_Off to sleep little one_

_Off to sleep with you little one_

_For tomorrow you will shine_

_And I'll be there_

_Don't be frightened and if you think you can't_

_Then just hold on to big brother_

_I'll show you the way_

"Are you singing Jackson?" His mother had asked from the door as she looked at the duo that both had been loud and rambunctious all day suddenly fall silent.

"Ma boys don't sing. Boys play ball and ride horses but we don't sing" He stated defensively. "I was just holding Miles." He said as he rocked in the chair as the child had fallen asleep in his arms.

* * *

It had been a month since the accident. She had felt she could no longer go on. Hannah was falling apart as much as Miley had already given up. She ran to her room, some place she had never been since that night. Miley wanted to scream and shout and throw things. But instead her eyes fell upon a box that had been placed on her bed. Today would be his birthday. She thought as she picked up the box in her hand. Her eyes watered as she whispered "Happy Birthday" into the cold air in the empty room. It read in his writing

To: My Miley

From: Your great annoyance

She slightly laughed at this as she opened the box and took out its contents. There was a video, a tape, pictures and finally a journal. She would later get the guts to read the journal and see the pictures. She had run out the house and straight to him. With odd looks at her even odder requests the personnel fetched what she was looking for. A television and a player and as she sat there beside him she played the video. Ignoring the odd looks from the passerby's for they would never understand. Miley had not even begun to let go and let reality slip in. She held on to the belief that there still lay a chance. . . a chance. . .So she laid beside him and relived what they had been, even if only in video she could relive it.

* * *

Note: If anyone could tell me what the mother's name was, when she died and of what and how old were Jackson and Miley at the time of her parting. 


	3. The Answer

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Robbie finds what he's looking for from the most unlikely person

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

He groaned as he awoke early. His fingers searched for the small object and as it located it he managed to tip over the lap. "Dang it." He mumbled as he picked up the object and looked at it. The fingers systematically shifted over the numbers without even a gander at them. He had dialed them many times before. 

"Hey this is Jackson's phone. If you've called on business I'm sorry I'm out of stock at the moment. If this is dad or Miles I'm doing fine don't worry. Dad have I told you that you are awesome and it was Miles I swear. Leave me a message and I'll get back at ya. Love always Jackson"

He ran a hand through his hair and hung it up. There was no use in leaving a message. There was never even a point to the phone call. He just needed to hear his voice. It wasn't healthy for either of them and he knew it but she requested to leave it active.

He dropped the phone back on the night table and sat up. It was the day, his day and he hadn't a clue what to do. He showered and got dressed and took a stroll he didn't want to face it yet. He hoped to drag it on until last minute with the answer. His hands stuck in his pocket as his sunglasses sheltered his red stained eyes. Robbie strolled down the park and walked over the small bridge and he leaned on it and sighed.

* * *

"DAD!" The blonde eyed boy screamed as he stood on the bridge watching over them. Robbie had just gotten out for lunch and like he had promised he met them at the park. His wife stood up and smiled lovingly at him as she waved him over. His hands removed the tie that was always choking him and the jacket that was to nice for him and walked over to his two precious jewels. "Watch me pa." 

Robbie watched as the young man ran after the ducks with a joyous laugh. "Alright son, stop scaring the birds and come and eat will ya?"

"In a moment pa."

"No how about now." Robbie gave his son a stern look and the boy resigned and ran to his father. Robbie picked up the boy and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. They ate with the chatter of his son recounting the adventures of the day to his pa with enthusiasm.

The day had carried and Jackson had found that water and dirt made mud before he had to go. Robbie laughed as the toddler rolled in his new discovery.

"I'll have to bathe you when we get home." His adoring wife called to the child. "Jackson come say bye to daddy he's got to go back to the office." Robbie cringed at the word. He hated working at an office . . he had sworn that he would not fall into the life trap of the boring routine of an office job but he'd be doing his own hours. But this would have to suffice to support his family for now. The young child with no care for keeping clean jumped into his father's arms and hugged him tightly.

Robbie groaned inwardly as he looked at the state of the semi expensive work attire but smiled at the young man and hugged him tightly.

* * *

He pushed up the glasses and moved towards their tree and leaned up against it. The world was unknown to him at the moment. All he could see was his child and their memories. Because that's all that was left of him or so it seemed. To have him live once again would only be through visions in their heads. It was a hard decision that had to be made. No one understood but everyone spoke of it. That they were doing wrong and it wasn't healthy. Others said they were giving him that chance, that last bit of hope. No one ever spoke to him directly about what they thought of him. All he ever heard now was pity and what were to be condolences for it. But no one ever said what he needed to hear because what he needed to hear only he could decide it. 

Robbie cried under those sunglasses under his tree. Where Jackson had climbed it many times and even broken his bone once or twice in his adventures. They had played pirates, cops and robber and hide and go seek till night came and they sat under the tree and fell asleep under the night sky. "Just give me a sign darling . . .just one sign." He whispered into the cool air as he wiped at his eyes.

"Excuse me sir." A young man in dark clothes approached him. Robbie knew that smell, remembered that voice and he would never forget it. He said nothing and didn't even turn to look at the boy. "I know you may not care to associate with me and all. I know it's quite heartless of me to come with what I did to your boy and all."

He only shook his head and looked at the boy. "You see sir today's an important day for me as well. I get sent away for what I did to Jackson. I didn't mean to . . ."

Robbie looked out at the small lake and made no effort to respond. "No matter what you decide I'll get what I deserve. I drank and I drove and I destroyed you."

"You killed me."

"I loathed that boy. I loathed him so much from the start when I saw him." They saw a boy in a wheelchair and he thought if that's how his boy would like to live.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"I realized sir that it wasn't hate but envy. That moment I saw him, that moment it happened I knew it was jealousy. He had everything I didn't. Jackson has a family that cares, friends, and freedom. He saw life through a rainbow where there was never anything dark. I never saw anything like that. But sir that's not an excuse. I made a choice and a wrong one at that. I'll pay my dues far from here where I won't harm you anymore."

Robbie shifted his weight and looked at the young man in the eye. "Just tell Jackson that I'm sorry. For all its worth, and maybe right now it seems like nothing and it won't fix anything. But I really am sorry. Sorry for all that I ever did to him. He's a good kid and he will pull through. I deserve what I get sir but I beg your pardon someone gave Jackson another chance to get it right. Don't take that away."

"You know boy."

"I know I . .."

"You made a mistake and I hope you learn. It takes a man to admit that they did wrong and apologize for it. It's strange you're the only one that spoke of him like if he's still here."

"If anyone knows your son beside you and Miles it's me. I spent so much time torturing him and I know he hasn't given up. He's a fighter till the end."


	4. She did it

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice _then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

"Jackson leave her alone." Robby said picking up the young boy in his arms. 

"But . . ." His father shook his head and shooed him out of the way and he made his way back to the camera.

"Come on darling." She said as she looked at her youngest offspring. She should be walking, she should have taken her first steps a long time ago. Their family was there as spectators and moral support to them. They all hoped she would grab onto daddy and take those first steps but she made a spit bubble and sat there looking at them all with a weird look on her face.

"No no Miles come on." Robby said grabbing for her fingers and he raised her on her feet. "You can do it." He whispered in her ear. "For daddy princess please." They had been at this all day and it was nearing dinner time. Maybe they had thought that she was ready now. She smiled and giggled and only plopped herself back down and stuck her finger in her mouth.

"Look at me!" Jackson suddenly popped up in front of the camera dressed in his Spiderman jammies and daddy's best tie and walked like a soldier with the guitar around him. "I'm going to save the world. Then he played a few chords for them.

"Jackson." They all moaned politely as his grandfather swooped him up in her arms and placed him outside.

"Play outside for awhile champ before dinner." He closed the door then resumed to his seat. The fuss only lasted another few minutes as they all resigned and went to the dinner table in chatter.

Jackson had crept back in through the doggy door in the front door and saw Miley sitting on the bed sucking her thumb. The camera had still been rolling as he stuck his tongue out right in front of it and saw the red light. "Come on Miley." He said as he threw himself on the bed and then get up on his elbows. "Lets have some fun." She extended her arms out to him and as he raised her she baby kissed him.

"Eww baby slobber." He whined as he set her on the floor. She giggled loudly and he threw his hands over her.

"Shh daddy will get mad Miles." He stated and she nodded as if she had understood what that meant. He sat her down and kissed her cheek. "Hmm you can walk Miles." She nodded with a giggle. "Of course you can. I'll teach you."

"Ju Ju." She mumbled with a laugh. "Ju Ju."

"Yeah Ju Ju help you." He stood behind her and he extended his arms out like his father had just done. "Come on Miles grab a hold of me. Hold on tight." He grabbed her small arms and placed them in his hands and he raised her. She fumbled a bit to get her balance but he steadied her. She knew if she fell he'd be there. "Now just one foot before the other. Like this." He moved her small feet in mock walking motion. "Now you."

"Ju Ju." She replied as her hand released and thumped her heart. This had been her signal for being scared.

"No nothing to be scared about. I won't let anything hurt you Miley." He whispered in her ear and held her tightly. "Just hold on to me and I'll show you how." She gripped tightly and began to move her feet like he had showed her. After a few tries with him holding her she released him and took her first steps alone.

"Hurrah Miley you've done it." She stumbled a bit but reached the dining table and picked up the nice expensive lamp Grandma had just brought them from spain and before Jackson could prevent it she had slammed it to the floor. The adults had soon run into the room to see the two children looking pale and shocked. The younger one on her feet walking, still stumbling, to her older brother as he only screamed.

"SHE DID IT!"


	5. I have No daughter

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice _then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

The car pulled into the driveway, after what seemed an eternity, as the brown haired man rose from the couch his lovely wife was walking down the stairs with that charming smile. How he loved that smile, he knew not what he would do if he were never to see it. Her hand locked into his as they walked towards the door to greet the visitors. They'd be staying a month at their house, seeing as theirs still needed to made. They were returning from their honeymoon and the newlyweds had come back to their house being burned down. It didn't take him more then a second to offer them shelter. He was his little brother after all. They went outside and watched as they came down the path. They hugged and said their hellos as they walked into the humble home.

"So where is your baby girl?" The younger version of him asked as he hugged the man. "I hear your daughter is such a gem."

"What?" Robby's eyes flinched with a look. "I have no daughter." He replied jokingly as he looked at the young couple. "I don't know where you heard that. I no longer have a daughter. Apparently . . "

"Oh come now." Becky, his new sister in law, replied with a smile.

"Oh don't fret for him, he's just jealous." The two couples laughed as they went up the stairs. "Our darlings are in here" Christine replied as she began to open the door to the play room.

"But Miles." Jackson spoke animatedly as he jumped up to fix his falling pants. "Becky is our aunt, she's not really family because she married Mark, whom is daddy's baby brother. Just like your my baby sister." He instructed with hand movements. The baby seemed to look like if she understood her older brothers ramblings. "But she's family now and she loves hugs and kisses. Lots of them and she smells of oranges and roses always. Aunt Becca plays all the games I want but I let her win at hide and seek." Miley created a spit bubble in response.

"But you can't play with Uncle Mark." Jackson said as he looked at her directly. "Nope . .no you can't." She looked at him with a curious look on her face. "He only plays boys game. You'd get hurt you know. So small and fragile. You can't play football or baseball you'd get hurt. But not me because I'm strong. But you can watch me finally win Mark in wrestling. I've been getting in shape." He flexed his arms for proof that he had indeed grown muscles. Miley stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked as she watched him intently.

"But just you wait!" Jackson suddenly screamed as he jumped up and down excitedly. "This is going to be so awesome!" Jackson shouted as he ran in a circle. "I love life. I love you." Jackson kissed her on the cheeks and hugged her. "Your going to be so awesome once your big."

"See!" Robby stated as he looked at his children. "No I definately have no daughter." They all laughed as Jackson finally noticed them at the door. His eyes widened and exuberated such excitement at the presence of his older relations. He hugged her first as she raised him in her arms. His small face dug into her neck as his arms stretched around her in a hug.

"Welcome home." Jackson nearly screamed in her ear as he looked her in the eyes finally. "I've been waiting like forever!" He exteneded his arms wide for visuals as she kissed him on the cheek.

"I hear Jackson that you've got the most adorable little girl." Mark said as he moved towards the youngest Stewart child.

"Oh yeah she doesn't do much yet." Jackson sighed dejectedly, "But I'm teaching her. She's a quick learner and she's beautiful." Mark raised the small child in his arms .She had motioned in such a way that they thought she was going to cry.

"Now there, there, Hannah princess. It's okay." Mark began soothing her back with his hands as she kissed him.

"Her names not Hannah." Jackson stated in his most adorable matter of factly tone. "I named her Miley."

"Oh sorry princess." He kissed her and then him on the cheek. After moments of adoring the children they thought it best to get to unpacking.

* * *

"Miley?" Mark questioned as he looked at Robby. "When you wrote to me you said you had named her Hannah." Robby sighed as he sat down on the couch.

"I did name her Hannah but the moment Jackson held her." Robby became silent as he looked around the humble home. "Named her Miley. It's like I don't exist in her world anymore."

"Oh come on." Mark answered as he sat across from his brother, whom seemed truly stressed on the subject, and squeezed his shoulder. "It can't be that bad." Becky and Christine entered with the hot cups of tea for them and took a seat beside them.

"I swear she'll be calling him dad for all I know." They heard the small steps jump down the stairs and then they progressed in a run towards the living room.

"Oh hold on there kiddo." Robby said picking up his son and sitting him on his lap. "What's the urgency."

"She's ready." He clapped his hands as she trailed in behind him holding on to his old raggedy brown one eyed bear.

"Ready for what sport?" Mark asked curiously as the young childs feet kicked excitedly and there was such a sparkle in the child's eyes. He would miss that most after everything.

"Miley's going to speak." He sat her in the middle of the room and he looked at her. "Come on Miles say it." Robby sighed as he rubbed his eyebrows. The child had only been speaking baby gibberish and they had spent hours, days, minutes, training her and all she ever said was "JU Ju."

"How do you know sweetheart?" Becky asked as her hands fessed with his hair.

"Because we're tight like that." The baby sat and looked at them and then to her bear. "Come on Miley."

But she remained quiet all the way till their mother decided to put them to bed. Jackson had sneaked back into her room to look at her. His small hand grasped her little hand in his own and kissed her hand. Robby had a yearning to check on his little princess before heading off to bed. He noticed the small light and opened the door just a crack not wanting to interrupt.

"It's okay Miles." Jackson sighed as he hung his hands over the crib and then he pulled her out, ever so carefully, and sat in the rocking chair. "You'll speak when your ready." She had begun to cry and he hummed to her what had become to be known as their song. He had managed to fall asleep with the child only looking at him.

"Daddy." She had whispered in his arms. Robby Ray's heart had finally broken that night.


	6. His decision

**Title: **Hold On To Big Brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hanna Montana

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice _then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.

* * *

She couldn't stand it not anymore. She sighed and looked at the object. "I hate you." Miley screamed in the silence. "Why? You don't care. Not anymore." 

"I need you and where are you? Where are you Jackson?" She screamed as her hands hit an object and her eyes watered as she looked at it. "I know where your not at! Your not here thats where your not at!" She wailed as her hands wiped at her hot tears she had yet to cry. Miley had to put up a front and had to look like she had it all under control. In reality she was falling apart without him.

I hate being Hannah and Miley. I can't take it anymore. You know just the other day I almost walked to school as Hannah. I don't even know myself anymore."

"All the fans don't care what Miley needs. They don't care that your gone. They just want concerts, they want autographs, they want pictures. Dad wants me to be strong and he needs me to help him. Lilly wants me to move on and heal. Oliver wants me to admit that I like him! Everyone looks at me with pity."

"Oh that's Jackson's sister lets go over and give her a pity party." She mimicked the whispers of the town people. "Oh that's the girl that won't let her brother go. She's a poor lost soul. They all say you were a good student, you weren't. You were such a studius young man and you never studied a day in your life. Even Miss Hackle, you remember you crashed her car into her hideous christmas decorations. She was all your such a young sweet boy never did her any harm. That liar!"

"They all lie! All of them and they know it! The hypocrites!" She slammed her fists again directly on the object. "Stupid Hannah won another award and I couldn't even say that it was for you .Because Hannah doesn't have a brother that's ..."

"I hate you!" Her tears were coming down rapidly now as she threw herself down. "Why aren't you here? Why did you leave? You can't leave me alone."

"Oliver he's pushing my buttons. He has a 'girlfriend' now just to taunt me. Because he's pissed because I didn't take his stupid promise ring seriously. How was I supposed to know at sixteen that he's the love of my life. Gosh!" Her hands flung in the air childishly as she looked at him. "Oh yeah I turned sixteen a month of ago and you didnt even care! No everyone was still focused on you and that's because your supposedly not even here anymore!"

"Would you make up your mind Jackson!" She screamed as she sat up finally and looked at him. "Either your here or there! I can't take this anymore. I hate feeling so damn guilty because your here and I'm out there trying to live. Trying to smile and laugh and then I remember you! I hate feeling that sometimes it would be best if you just go . . go in peace and then I hate myself. Then I feel guilty and I sleep in your bed crying."

"Damn it Jackson I can't take this anymore! I can't live anymore. I'm tired of it all. I can't fight anymore. I'm done. I'm too weak to deal with this"

* * *

"Hey Miles." It was him just a few days before the accident. She looked at the television set. "Happy sixteenth birthday baby girl. Sorry it'll be the first one without me." He was sitting on a wooden stool in what seemed to be their old house. "I miss you to death or at least I know I will." The guitar she had brought him was over his chest. She wiped at the tears in her eyes and sighed. "I finished your song. I know it took me sixteen years to make it but the best things are worth waiting for Miles. He tapped his feet on the bottom leg of the stool and began to strum the guitar as pictures of them came on. 

_Miles you have many miles to travel_

_But little light of mine you will shine_

_Shine far away from mine _

_Off to sleep little one_

_Off to sleep with you little one _

_For tomorrow you will shine_

_And I'll be there _

_Don't be frightened and if you think you can't _

_Then just hold on to big brother _

_I'll show you the way_

_One day you will be so bright, so precious,_

_Your love will reach places far off _

_Your song will play in hearts of strangers_

_Your light will always shine _

_You'll lose sight and it won't smile everyday_

_We've lost a star _

_And we lost our innocence_

_We lost our shine_

_But little one I'll be here to hold you _

_Miles you have many miles to travel _

_But little light of mine you will shine_

_Shine far away from mine_

_Off to sleep little one _

_Off to sleep with you little one_

_For tomorrow you will shine _

_And I'll be there_

_Don't be frightened and if you think you can't _

_Then just hold on to big brother _

_I'll show you the way_

_Don't let go_

_Fall and stumble many times _

_For that's the way to learn_

_Your star will shine_

_You are my light and soul _

_Daddy's little girl and my precious Miley_

_The world is filled with obstacles and challenges_

_But you will shine _

_Your heart will find truth _

_Your soul will find existence_

_One day daddy will give your hand _

_And you'll be someone's love_

_But no matter we still shine _

_And your light no matter how far _

_Will always be joined with mine_

_So when your done ,when you think you can't _

_When it all bears too much for you_

_When you can't sacrifice no more_

_Don't let your shine fall _

_Don't stop smiling and just hold on to my hand_

_For I will pull you through_

* * *

They had all showed up. Robby looked at his family whom could only give support. They talked in hush whispers as they hugged him and gave him support. His younger daughter had not seen any of them. For ever since no one existed but him. The song, his voice awoke her. Robby wiped at his eyes and adjusted his sunglasses.

"She'll pull through." The voice of Lilly Truscott made it's vocal appearance. "Mr. Stewart its just too much like this."

"Mr. Stewart have you made your decision? Really there's not much hope now. He's taken too long and who knows . .. "

"Who knows." Robby muttered. "But that's my son. A half of me and his mother. A half of my soul is in that child."

"Is it fair to torture all of you this way?" A female voice said trying to reason. "I mean he can't be having a great time being between life and death. It's only right."

"It's not your choice and god forbid you be in my shoes Mrs. Oken."

"Even if he wakes we don't know if he'll be able to walk. What state will he be in?"

"At least he has the chance. At least he has life." Robby stated with a bite of his lip. "It's our right to give him the choice to live. The chance . . . "

"In ridicule, in dependence always of someone else. Does he want that? "

"I don't know what he wants." The tears came down his face as he looked at loved one's faces. They had remained quiet and only hugged him and he knew in their looks that they did not share the others opinions. That only he had the choice and they would always be his support.

* * *

"Won't you decide for yourself? Why can't you just . . ."Her hand grasped over her lips. "I didn't mean it Jackson . . please don't."

"Did you know I'm failing classes but I figured out a way for daddy not to know. I've practically dropped out and then there's Hannah. Her sales are suffering, I've created her to be a monster diva. Worse then Jennifer Lopez herself. I hate Hannah. I hate her so perfect life."

"It doesn't matter. Not anymore and I don't care if the world finds out who I am." She had calmed down and her red eyes looked at the object on the small bed. "Nothing matters anymore without you."

"I dream of you and her together. It's not fair that you get to see her again. I miss her so much Jackson." She sat on the bed and ran her hands through something blonde. "I envy you right now. You stuck here with no worries at all. You don't face the ugliness of this world. It's harsh and ugly. They all look at you with those eyes and some don't even look anymore. Everyone talking like they know . .like they feel . . .like they have a right. But none of them know jack shit about what's going on."

"I don't know anything anymore. I'm lost Jackson and I don't know what to do anymore." She finally fell beside him and cried, all that she hadn't cried, next to his cold body. "I can't do this alone." She curled into the fetal position and began trembling. "I'm scared of letting you go and of holding you back. I can't do this Jackson." Miley thought it a trick of the mind when she felt his hand intertwine with hers and the words were so low and light. Miley thought she had just heard it in her mind.

"Then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through."


	7. The Shining Star

**Title:** Hold on to big brother

**Ship: **None

**Fandom: **Hannah Montana

**Rating:** T

**Summary: **A look into the relationship shared by Jackson and Miley. Death upon him, She's not willing to let go. The last hateful words still sting in her mouth as they wait . . wait for a sign of hope. She can't move on, he can't move period. She wants to give up, He wants to find peace. She can't pull through and at her hour of despair all she can hear is "Then just hold on to big brother".

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the show or the actors. I own the concept, the story, the words and the work put into creating this.

**Author's Note: **Sorry about the over long delay. Hope there are still people reading this.

* * *

He was sitting at the window seat looking outside. Tears threatening his face as he looked up at the sky. His mind tonight wasn't filled with comics, football and cars not tonight. Tonight momma was sick, very sick and they said she might not make it. He wanted to cry but he couldn't he had to be strong for her and for him. He had to pull her through this. He would have to forget about himself and his pain, because she was still too little to understand. She was going to need him to understand it. Because he didn't want her to hate the world like he does tonight.

"Baby." Her voice was low and followed with a dreadful cough. Her figure sat beside him as he curled up into her arms. He of course knew he was to old to be cradled and babied but tonight he didn't care. She smelled of strawberries and icky medicine but he inhaled deeply as her arms wrapped around him tightly. "Baby doll."

"Shh." He said as his eyes blinked. "Not yet momma . . .not yet . . .please." He looked her in the eyes with his own wet eyes.

"It'll be alright Jackson. It will always be alright." Her hands caressed his cheek and then she moved to twirl his hair. She kissed his cheek lightly and her eyes pierced his own with fright and weariness. "Dance with me little one?" She rose to her feet and took his hand in hers.

"Boys don't dance momma, especially not with their mommas." He held her tightly though as he said this. He held her closer then he had ever done in his life. She sang their song, for every Stewart seemed to have their own song to symbolize the love they shared with that one person. They danced in the darkness only the moon to light the small attic. She kissed his head as the song ended and pulled him back towards the window.

"Jackson you see that shining star right there." She pointed to what seemed the star that shone supplementary brighter then the others that night. "That's our star baby. Whenever it's too much, whenever it all seems to be overwhelming just look there and tell me your woes. I'll listen to you intently and your pains will be soothed. When you need to talk to me or just to remember . . ." Her voice choked and then the coughing fit came as he looked at the star. "Just look in the sky and I'll always be there. I'll always be here too." She touched his chest lightly where his heart was. "Always darling."

"Don't go momma . . .please . . . don't leave me . . . alone." His eyes pleaded with hot tears running down his cheek. "You can't . . . .You'll get better . . .I'll behave momma . . .Won't ask for anymore toys or . . .anything. I'll listen . . .I'll be a good boy . . .promise."

She smiled at him and kissed his forehead. "You already are the best child in the world baby." She leaned back against the wall and put him on the floor. "It'll be alright baby. It's getting late darling go fetch your sister for me will you?" He did as told and his father trailed behind and sat in the rocking chair as she sat on the window seat with her two most prized possessions.

"Mommy." Miley smiled at her and sat in her lap. "It's a beautiful night."

"It is kiddo." Robbie said as he smiled at them. His eyes were filled with sadness as he looked at her. She only smiled at him and kissed her kids on the forehead.

"How about I tell you all a story?"

"A story about dragons?"

"No about a princess? Dragons are icky!"

"You're just a scaredy cat Miles!"

"No I'm not!" She hit him on the shoulder with a glare. "Dragons are icky! Aren't they momma?"

"Yes dragons are icky little fellows."

"See and mommas a big person and she can't be scared of anything!" She huffed with her hands crossed over her chest and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hmmph!" He stated, "How about a story about soldiers! Yeah they are better then dragons!"

"No about a princess and her prince!"

"In all those stories all they do is kiss and EWWW! I'm never kissing a girl!"

"Hush up little ones." She whispered into their ears as she hugged them both close. "This story isn't like any of those stories. Let me just tell you and I'm sure you'll never forget it." She looked at Robbie Ray with that look of love and adoration.

Jackson listened to her all night. He listened to her heart beat, he felt her breaths getting more and more distant, he felt her struggles as she coughed, he listened till there was nothing to listen to anymore. Then he wept silently for Miles was deep asleep and Robbie was crying in the corner of the dark room. He had pretended to fall asleep but he paid attention to her all night. He felt her soft kisses that she gave each of them over and over. He kissed her repeatedly, he inhaled her smell often and never wiped his tear stricken face. He listened as she cried softly between coughing fits, he heard him crying as he rocked in the rocking chair. Jackson listened as they told each other in rushed whispered voices how much they loved each other and their children. He heard the soft pounding of his fathers fists against the wall as he asked her not to go. Then there was no more to listen to. Her heart had faded into silence and he felt her last breath as her hands hugged both of them and her lips lay on both of them.

* * *

"I saw her Miles." He whispered into her ears. "I spoke to her and she smelled just like she did that night."

Miley only listened as she hugged him tightly. "I was back there in that attic, back home. You remember Miles?"

"Yeah." She responded as she kissed his cheek. "Maybe if we hadn't left . . . this wouldn't have . . . It was all my fault . . . me always me"

"No." Jackson raised his fingers to her lips. "It's not your fault Miles. It will never be your fault."

"But I was screaming . . .I was horrid . . I said all those mean things . . . such hateful words . . . ." She sputtered between sobs.

"But it's okay Miles. I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you." She looked at him with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too Miles."

* * *

He heard her footsteps as she climbed up the stairs into the attic. He tossed the black jacket on the rocking chair as he wiped his eyes and looked out into the dark moonlit world. Their star sparkling brightly as if to mock him. He glared at it and it had seemed that it only shone brightly as if to taunt him and he swore he felt her presence and that the taunting star only smiled back at him. Like she would do every time he had always been mad with her. He sat on the window seat and threw his head back with a sigh. She finally had made it to the final steps and their eyes met.

Her tear eyed confused face looked into his own. He did not say a word, for words were said to them that had no meaning, no significance at all. Words that were supposed to make you heal but they all fell on deaf ears for they didn't want words. Words for them were just an excess because they knew each other that words didn't need to be spoken. He patted the space beside him and she slowly walked towards him. Jackson took Miley's hand into his own and squeezed it tightly. He kissed her on the forehead and they both stared outside in silence.

They watched as the grown ups walked to their cars, or lingered on the front lawn to console Robbie and their grandparents. Few of them asked for the children. They didn't need them all they wanted was their mother back. They didn't want to hear another "I'm so sorry." Because they weren't really and she was still gone. "I send you all my condolences." Whatever that was didn't make him feel better. "I really loved your mother" He hadn't seen her in years and the last words he had spoken to her were hateful. "If there is anything, anything at all that I could do." Bring back my mother that would do he had thought of responding. But he didn't because he knew they couldn't.

There was a table full of food to last them the whole month. There was sugars and sweets enough for both of them to rot their teeth dry they both remain untouched. There's a black long coffin with a white blanket over it and a bunch of flowers around it, that is stained from all their tears and kisses.

"It's not fair." Miley states because she can no longer stand the silence and the thoughts it provokes.

"Life is never fair." Jackson replied as he looked at her. "Life is what it is."

"When will momma come home?"

"She won't be coming home."

"Why not?"

"Because she's gone."

"Gone where?"

"Far?"

"Can't we go with her?"

"Not yet."

"When?"

"I don't know." He kissed her forehead as he watched his father sit on the chair swing and rock back and forth. Jackson watched as he dug his head into his hands and cried.

"I miss her."

"I do too." With that they both stayed in silence as they both wept until they were too exhausted and gave over to sleep. This was done till they had finally decided to move out to follow the dreams of Miley. It was his excuse anyway. Jackson knew it was his way of dealing with the loss, because he saw the pain, the hurt it caused his father to walk around in the house that was filled of her always. He would never let her go like that and they had to let her go. It was just to hard to live in a place that was full of someone you couldn't hold anymore no matter how much they all loved that house

* * *

"Jackson don't leave me."

"That's not for me to decide Miles."

"But I'm sorry for everything."

"I knew you were the moment you said them."

"I didn't mean any of it at all."

"I know that. I just wanted you to get the chance to get it off your chest."

"To make peace?"

"So you can be at peace, yes." He coughed lightly as he kissed her. "I've said all I have to both you and dad. I love you both so much."

"I love you."

"I love you and dad." He coughed yet again as he sighed.

"Jackson it's not your time yet is it?"

"I won't lie. I'm broken Miles, broken in half. First there was pain and then there was nothing at all. A sense of peace came over me and the freedom to do anything. When I thought it couldn't get any better I smell her strawberry scent, her soft hands, her welcoming arms, her soft voice. It was all a dream or reality I don't know. Then there was your voice, your agitated, anxious scared voice and it was all gone."

"Does she miss me?"

"Always and dad too."

"I want to see her again."

"Not yet Miles."

"When?"

"I don't know."

"I don't know how to live without you. I wouldn't know what to do without you."

"You'll learn."

"Jackson."

"You just hold on and I'll always be there."

"But it's not the same."

"Nothing was ever the same after she left."

"I know but you helped me adjust."

"And now dad will help you adjust. He will at least get his daughter back." Jackson chuckled lightly at his own joke. For he was aware of his father jealousy towards him. That he knew Miles better then he did. That Miles looked at him like she should look at him. He knew he was bothered by the fact that Miles always came to him with her problems. Though as they got older her relationship with her father got somewhat tighter and his relationship with her strained. Miley hugged him tightly and cried into his chest. "Shh little one" He rubbed her back softly and kissed her. "The star will always shine after the storm Miles. Just hold on and look to the sky and your heart."

"It's getting late Miles. You have school tomorrow you best get going." She for once in her life didn't obey him and laid there with him. Awake listening to the heart monitor slow down, she listened to his own heart beat, felt his chest rise and lower and she listened to his coughing fits. She listened till there was just silence in the dark room and the glowing light of the star outside filled the room.


End file.
